I don't blame you
by maddiejean95
Summary: First draft before my Nothing or No-on can ever be kept a secret- some details have been changed. No adam, all rachel. Set mid season 4. Rachel Mason has a daughter no one know about, and who she hasn't seen in 15 years
1. Chapter 1

Ok, my story Nothing or No-one can ever be kept a secret was changed from my original plan to make it more dramatic. However this was my first plan, and it's a more stripped back approach. Rachel's a lot more nicer at the beginning and so is her daughter.

I changed Alicia's name to Martha just to avoid confusion

I probably won't ever continue you this but thought I may as well share it :)

Miss Mason was sat in her office and she was very happy, today was the last day of term, tomorrow was the first day of the summer holidays, and this time next week she'd be on her belated honeymoon with Eddie, her deputy head.

All this was about to change by a single phone call

'Rachel, the hospital's on the phone for you' bridget her p.a had called to her

She was extremely puzzled, no one she knew was in hospital at that present moment

'Ok thanks Bridget, I'll take the call'

'Hi, this is Miss Mason, how can I help?'

'Hello, my name's Nurse Cooper, Miss Mason I'm afraid to tell you you're daughter Martha has been involved in a traffic collision, she has some horrific injuries, however will not co-operate with us until she see's you, can you get here as soon as possible please'

It was almost like someone had twisted a dagger in her chest, although people knew about her past, they didn't know about Martha. And Rachel wanted to keep it that way

'I'm really sorry, but I'm headmistress of a school and it's the last day of term, I don't think I can make today'

'Miss Mason, I don't think you understand the danger Martha will be in if she doesn't have the tests and this operation, however she won't do anything until you arrive. Martha is on Parry Ward at Greater Manchester hospital'

Rachel's conscience was split in two, if she did go, her past would be dragged up again and was it fair on the girl if she walked into her life again and then left her again? But then again this innocent girl wasn't to blame for rachel's mistakes.

'Ok I'll be there in half an hour'

Rachel slammed down the phone, and rushed out of the office. She got into her car and drove to the hospital, many questions were whizzing round her head 'why was she in Manchester, I sent her away to school in the south west?, why does she want me?, what does she look like?'

Even though Rachel hadn't wanted anything to do with her, she was still curious how her daughter had turned out

When she got there, rachel asked for directions up to Parry Ward, when she arrived at the ward she was introduced to Nurse Cooper

'Miss Mason, I'm glad you could find time out of your busy schedule' she said coldly

'Can you show me my daughter please' rachel said as politely as she could, I guessed to an outsider she looked like a heartless witch, but she had her reasons

Nurse cooper took her into a private room, Rachel was shocked to see all the cables attached to such a thin girl

'Martha' she gasped

The girl however was lead asleep so had not seen Rachel come in.

Rachel was shocked, there was no mistaking it, she was definitely her daughter. She had long aurburn hair that was nearly at her waist, and her face was oval, the same shape as her mother's. However Martha looked very unhealthy, you could see her bones that weren't covered by her hospital gown, and event though her eyes were closed, you could see huge bags underneath them

She was unsure what to do, whether to sit down, wait by the window, wake the girl or just stay put. Rachel knew she was a stranger to the girl, so why now was her daughter asking for her

She went to stand by the window, she text Eddie to let him know she had left school and not to worry, she turned around and was met by a pair of sparkling green eyes, her daughter had woken up

'Are you Miss Mason?'

'Umm. Yes I am' rachel tried to smile, but it was a weak attempt, this was followed by a very long awkward pause

Martha then broke it 'I don't blame you, you know. to be honest I think you're very brave'

Rachel smiled warmly at the girl, at the young age of 15 she had a very mature head on her

Martha spoke again 'if I was in your position I would have got rid of it, so I suppose I'm forever in you debt'

Rachel was shocked and didn't know how to reply, so changed the subject with a different question 'why now? Why now did you want to see me?'

'When I was in the accident, the last thing I remember is thinking I was going to die, and now knowing I might not make it off the operation table alive. I wanted to see you and to tell you that I don't blame you, and to tell you I still love you'

However much at that moment Rachel wanted to say the words back to the little girl, she couldn't say them. She knew Martha would be able to see through her lies and the least she owed her was the truth

'Also, Miss Mason. I'm really scared, can you just pretend I'm a student and stay with me till they're ready to send me in'

Rachel felt slightly uncomfortable, but she did just that, again that was the least she could do for the girl. She poured Martha some water, and they spoke about different things, like their favourite colours or their favourite subject at school.

Soon Nurse Cooper came into the room 'ok Martha, we're going to take you down to prep you now ok? Do you have any questions?'

'None about the operation, but can I have a few moments to say goodbye?'

'Of course' nurse cooper gave Rachel a venomous look and then continued 'I'll be right outside if you need me'

'Thanks Sarah' martha beamed at the nurse, Rachel noticed that however ill Martha looked, her smile lit up her face and the room almost felt happier

Rachel didn't know how to tell the frail girl she wasn't coming back but before she could find the words, Martha spoke

'I know you won't be here when I get back and I understand that, but thanks so much for coming, and I think you're wonderful'

Rachel could only mutter a few words 'god bless you child' she had never been religious, but it felt like it was the right thing to say

Nurse cooper came and wheeled Martha out the room, the child weakly waved goodbye to the woman who before today was practically a stranger and then turned away and smiled

Rachel sat there in the hospital room, she knew she was selfish but that part of her life was over and she didn't want to open old wounds. When Martha was born, rachel had never had any maternal instincts and the child was sent away immediately. However, the brief meeting today, saw a child that didn't remind her of her past, but a child that showed her strengths, courage and kindness. Had she been wrong all these years? Would it be wrong of her to demand a relationship with the child she had so stubbornly refused to see, just because she wanted it?

Rachel walked out of the hospital in a daze with Martha's words ringing in her head 'I don't blame you'

If you want me to continue, please review, and tell me what you want to happen.


	2. Chapter 2

After visiting Martha, Rachel went straight home as there was hardly any of the day left and her emotions were all over the place

At 1pm Eddie walked through the door 'now where is my favourite missing headmistress' he'd obviously seen her car in the drive

Rachel laughed 'in the kitchen'

Before she knew it, Eddie was stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist and kissing her neck

After a while he stopped 'so where was Mrs Mason today?' Rachel had decided to keep her maiden name at school, to avoid confusion

'Sit down and I need to tell you something'

Eddie sat down opposite his wife, and stoked her hands gently with his thumb

'What is it Rach?'

'Ok I understand if you can't even look at me after this but-'

Eddie cut her off 'whatever it is Rachel, you're still my wife and I love you know matter what'

Rachel looked unsure but continued 'I have a daughter'

Eddie was stunned into silence, Rachel looked away ashamed, she took her hands away and moved her hair out of her face

However, Eddie leaned forward and grabbed her hands and spoke very softy 'tell me' those two words were all it took to reassure Rachel she wouldn't be on her own

'It was back when..' Rachel couldn't handle it anymore and let out a sob and Eddie held her hand tighter

'Ok it was back when you had your old job, go on tell me'

'I fell pregnant, I had used protection but it had obviously failed. This was my chance to get out of the cycle and for that I'm always grateful to her, but when she arrived... I...I couldn't look at her, Eddie I hated holding my own child. With the money I'd saved I sent her away and then got my education, then once I'd got my degree I sent her to boarding school and I haven't seen her since' Rachel was crying now, bringing back memories that she had hidden was overwhelming

'So why tell me now Rach?'

'I saw her today, she was in hospital' she then explained her encounter with Martha

'She was wonderful, and she looked just like me, but I couldn't tell her I loved her, nothing had changed and I feel awful'

'From what you've told me she sounds just like you, but why not put her up for adoption, and let her be loved'

Again Rachel cried harder 'oh Eddie I wish I had but when I had her if I had to sign the adoption forms i would have to have the father's consent and I.. I'

'Shhh Rach' eddie said, calming his wife 'you'd need to have the father's consent'

'Yes, and I didn't have it. I knew I've been selfish leaving her with strangers, and it's dreadful but I had forgotten her till today and now I'm questioning whether I did the right thing all those years ago'

'Ok, I think you should get some sleep, your mind is always clearer after some rest. C'mon Rach'

Eddie walked round and held out her hand, Rachel gladly accepted and followed him. He gently tuck her into bed and kissed her forehead 'Sleep well Mrs Lawson, we'll think of something tonight'

'I love you Eddie'

'I love you more'

At 7pm, Rachel's mobile rang, she woke up and mumbled 'Hello, Rachel Mason speaking'

'Hi Rachel, it's Nurse Cooper, Martha didn't want me contacting you but I thought I ought to, her operation went successfully. However due to the risks involved, and the grave injuries she sustained she will be staying with us for two week's.'

Rachel let out a sigh of relief, Eddie then walked into the bedroom

'Thank you for telling me, that is such a relief... Ok goodbye'

Rachel looked up at her husband and beamed at him 'Martha's operation was successful'

'That's absolutely fantastic news!'

'But she has to stay in hospital for two weeks'

'Rach that's fine too, I've postponed our holiday due to circumstances'

'Eddie...what no you sh...'

'Rach this is obviously more important we're going to sort this out, I promise you we will go on our honeymoon before the summer has finished, now you look absolutely knackered, go back to bed baby and I'll see you in the morning'

'You know I think I have the most wonderful husband' rachel smiled

'You know what, I quite agree' he grinned back cheekily and then leant in to kiss her

Once Rachel was asleep, Eddie left the house and made his way to the hospital. After asking several people, and confirming he was indeed family he made it up to Parry ward

Z

'Straight through, second room to the left'

'Ok thank you very much

He went into the room, and was shocked at the frail figure that lead in front of him, she indeed looked very much like his wife. It felt like he'd sat there minutes, but an hour later his step-daughter woke up.

For a minute Martha was disorientated and groggy, she then noticed the man sat by her bed

'Hello, you must be Eddie' she smiled at him

'Evening Martha, how did you know who I was?'

'Well I saw you in some newspapers with Rachel - although you're a lot taller than I remember, and also no other man would come visit me' she laughed sadly

'Do you mind passing me some water?'

'Of course not' he went over to the table, poured Martha a glass, and then sat back down

'So how are you feeling?'

'Umm my stomach is quite painful, but I'll live, do you know how long I have to stay here?'

'Two weeks then you'll be discharged'

Martha bit her lip, and looked sadly at the floor, there was an awkward silence until she broke it

'You know Manchester's amazing, soooo much better than Somerset'

'You think? Can't say I'm a huge fan of it'

'I love it, ummm..is Rachel ok?'

'She's a tad emotional at the moment, but she'll be fine - so what's going to happen to you after you've been in here'

'I don't know, I ran away from school, after 11 years there I got bored and I don't reckon they'll miss me. They tried to contact Rachel but I think she's changed her contact details. I reckon I'll have to go back, it was stupid of me really'

She sat up, although she grimaced in pain 'Eddie I really think you make her happy'

Eddie smiled at the young girl 'and what makes you say that?'

'Well I saw the ring on her finger yesterday, so I guessed she was married, and she just had a buzz about her - I'm glad she's met you after everything she went through'

Eddie couldn't stop smiling, he was absolutely amazed at how intelligent the girl was 'Martha, visiting time is about to finish, I'll be back tomorrow' eddie didn't know what came over him, but he leant over and kiss her forehead, Martha flinched but didn't pull away

There was an obvious bond of trust between the two


	3. Chapter 3

Really short chapter, but another one will follow it quickly. I just realised I missed this out

The next morning, Martha awoke in her hospital bed, again she was unsure where she was. She sat up and a stabbing pain fired through her stomach 'oh shit' this definitely reminded Martha where she was

As her vision began to focus, she saw tonnes of bright colours in front of her, they were a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. Mostly pink - her favourite colour.

She pulled the table closer and read the note

Dear Martha,

I'm so glad the surgery went well, and I'm sure you'll be back to yourself in no time! Keep showing that beautiful smile of yours, it'll make the hospital a more happier place to be.  
Speak soon,

Rachel x

Martha's heart swelled with happiness, two simple words 'speak soon' filled her with joy, would that mean her Mum would get in contact?

And indeed Martha couldn't stop smiling


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Rachel woke up to the strong smell of Bacon

'Hmmmm' she quickly threw on her dressing gown and made her way downstairs

'What do we have here Mr Lawson?'

'A special treat for my wife, who's finally dragged herself out of bed'

Rachel mocked offence 'maybe your wife was tired' she then stuck out her tongue at him

She went over to the fridge and poured two orange juices, whilst Eddie placed the two plates of bacon sandwiches on the table, they munched away happily, they were content - marriage life suited both of them

'Ok Rach don't get mad...'

Rachel laughed 'I knew there'd be a reason for this'

'Hey I can be romantic and kind, but seriously don't get mad.' Eddie took a big breath 'I went to see Martha yesterday'

Rachel didn't say anything straight away, Eddie could see it in her eyes that she was thinking things through

'Umm ok what did you think of her?'

'Oh Rach, she's one of the loveliest kids I've ever met and bright too'

Rachel had a small smile 'good, I wanted to go today and introduce you to her' Eddie beamed at his wife

'But Eddie go behind my back again and trust me you'll be sorry' she said with a minxy glint in her eye

'I'll make sure I don't' Eddie chuckled

Visiting time opened at 10 and Alicia wasn't surprised that her door hadn't been opened, so instead she read one of the hospital's 'real-life' magazines, and tried to district herself from all the greetings Of family in the wards opposite e room

'Eddie come on we're going to be late'

'Calm down Mrs Lawson'

'You take longer than I do to get ready' Rachel said with an exasperated laugh

'Well I like to look my best'

Rachel turned around and Eddie patted her bum

'Eddie!'

They were on the way, Eddie was driving Rachel's car as he had noticed she was shaking, it was true Rachel was very nervous.

'Eddie can we stop at the shop?'

They went inside

'Right I'm thinking we should get Martha some books to read'

'Oh now now Miss Mason, I'm sure a girl like Martha would rather a magazine'

The finally came to a compromise, Rachel brought her Sense and Sensibility and a Sherlock Holes novel (her personal favourites) and Eddie brought her a magazine all about celebs (originally he had picked one about cars, however the look he received from his wife suggested that was a bad idea)

'Martha might get hungry' Rachel suggested

'Lets go buy her some treats' Eddie said excitedly

'Calm down Mr Lawson, and she's not a dog'

After debating for a long time on what chocolate to buy, they finally bought some plain chocolate, a carton of smoothie and some squash. They then made there way to the hospital, and then Parry ward

Rachel's steps became smaller and she became quieter, Eddie noticed

'Hey Rach you ok? We don't have to do this you know?'

'No I want to Eddie and I have something to say to her'

'Ok we'll let's get moving we don't want visiting hours to end!'

Martha had finished her magazine and she was bored, the room was dull and there was only so much looking at the marks on the wall she could do

Nurse Cooper then opened the door 'hey Sweetie, how ya feeling?'

Martha smiled 'good thanks, better than last night, still a bit painful round here though' she pointed towards the bottom of her ribs and her stomach

'Well you have had major surgery darling, but I want you to call me if you need anything and later on I'll explain everything from the op, now just promise me don't move about too much and don't get too excited'

'I don't think I'm going to get any excitement round here ...no offence' Martha added the last bit on and smiled, she didn't want to hurt the nurse' feelings

'Ok pet, well like I said ring me if you need anything using that buzzer'

Time dragged by for Martha, she guess she'd built her hopes up that Eddie would keep his promise and come see her today or that Rachel would contact her, a tear slid down her check, she was most surprised as he had successfully learnt not to show her feelings a long time ago

Several minutes passed and then suddenly the door opened

'Hello kiddo' Eddie almost bounced into the room

'Eddie! You came!'

'Of course I did'

Eddie sat down, and grasped Martha's hand 'so how was your night?'

'A little bit painful but ok I guess'

Eddie noticed her tear stained cheek 'hey kiddo what's up?'

'Hay fever I guess from them' Martha pointed towards the flowers

'Wow whoever bought them had cash to splash bet there a right stuck up...' Eddie had finished reading the note and tried to cover his tracks 'they're lovely'

Even though it hurt, Martha couldn't stop laughing

Eddie was about to open his mouth to speak, but Martha cut in

'Look Eddie I really like you and I'm so glad you came here, but I don't want to get in the middle of you and mu..Rachel, you two are perfect for each other'

'Well the thing is Martha...' Eddie was disappointed and looked at the floor, Rachel had backed out at the last minute nod had stayed by the car

However both Martha's and Eddie's thoughts were interrupted by a voice at the door

'The thing is Martha, that won't happen' Rachel walked in and smiled at the girl and then Eddie

'Rachel! I didn't think you'd come back'

'Well I have, here Eddie and I have bought you these'

Martha took the bag from Rachel and looked at all the items

'Oh wow sense and sensibility - my favourite book! Thank you so much!'

Rachel cast her husband a very smug look and then turned back to er daughter

'Ooo smoothie I've never had that before'

Eddie choked on his drink he had been sipping 'Martha you've been missing out how've you never had smoothie before?, here pass it and I'll put you some'

'Ive never been food shopping before, and school only had squash' Martha noticed how uncomfortable Rachel looked. Bit uncomfortable 'it's ok though I like squash'

For two hours the three of them talked, until a bell signalled for the end of visiting hours

Eddie hugged the small child goodbye, and Rachel stood and squeezed Martha's hand

'Before I go Martha, Ive thought of a plan but I'll only set the ball rolling if I know you consent to it'

Both Martha and Eddie looked confused

Rachel laughed at the puzzled faces staring at her 'and the fact you two get along makes it easier - Alicia I'm going to put you into care and-'

She was interrupted by Eddie 'Rachel have you thought about this?!'

Martha's head had sunk, she didn't want to show them her tears so looked at the clean hospital floor

'Eddie wait' Rachel then had noticed the girl's reaction, she walked up to her and gently pulled her head to look at her own 'hey wait for what I need to say... Once a week, we'll spend the day together, just us three, then you can spend a weekend at our house, an gradually build the time up. I also want you to start at Waterloo Road in September - now I know I lost the right to control your life a long time ago, but I want to regain it. What do you say?' She said gently to the frail girl

'I absolutely love the idea, it's what I've wanted for so long, thank you' however much Martha wanted to reach out and hug her mother, she knew Rachel wouldn't be comfortable with it so restrained herself

Rachel and Eddie made their way out, promising they'd return the next day. Just before the door shut, Alicia called after Rachel.

Once her mother was there she continued 'I meant what I said the other day, I don't blame you, at all. You never lost the right to control me, as you're always going to be my mother. Thank you for coming to see me I know it must have taken a lot'

Rachel smiled at the girl, she felt something stir inside her, a need to protect someone and care for them. At long last Rachel felt like a mother


	5. Chapter 5

Martha had been put with a lovely foster couple called Kimmy and Tom, she had been there three weeks an her stomach was starting to heal nicely, it was a Saturday morning, and Eddie and Rachel were taking her out that day

Despite her nerves, she was very excited. That morning she had shot out of bed and had eaten her breakfast as fast as possible, much to Kim's amusement

She then went upstairs and spent an hour deciding what to wear, Martha had a very bohemian fashion taste, and when Kimmy took her out shopping for the first time she had gotten a lot if clothes, she eventually decided on a long floral skirt, a brown belt, a white floaty top and a long cardigan. She then teamed it with a cheap amber pendant Tom had brought her from his business trip to France

Meanwhile in the Lawson household, for once Eddie was waiting for Rachel

'Eddie do I look ok?'

'Rach calm down you look fine - I don't think Martha cares what you look like, as long as we're with her'

Rachel had opted for a long skirt and cardigan, whilst Eddie wore his typical jeans and a shirt

'Yes but I want to make a good impression on Tom and Kimmy'

After Rachel had finished her make up , they set off again Eddie was driving as. Rachel was trembling with nerves

After a while of comfortable silence Rachel spoke 'Eddie am I doing the right thing?'

'Rach you saw how her face lit up when you suggested this idea'

'I know but what if I can't change, what if... What if I just cause her more pain'

'Rach, you are a different person to who you were when you had Martha. Look at you, you're a headmistress to 600 kids, you know every single one of their names and you have time for every single one of them. Now the woman I know wouldn't have even suggests this to Alicia if she wasn't certain she wanted it'

Rachel smiled at her husband, he knew what to say to make her feel better, and he seemed to know her more than she did

'I love you Eddie'

Soon enough, Eddie pulled into the drive, they both got out and Eddie pressed the doorbell

A woman in her mid forties opened the door 'ahh you must be Rachel and Eddie, come in'

'Hi Kimmy, you have a lovely home' Rachel smiled at the woman

'I wish you two could come more often, it usually takes several times to get Martha out of bed, but today she was up as soon as I opened her door... Martha, you ready to go honey?'

'COMING!'

All three adults laughed, and then Martha came running downstairs and went straight to hug Eddie

'Hey missy, surely you're not meant to run with that cast still around your stomach?'

'Im not' Martha replied grinning cheekily

'You don't listen to orders eh? Just like someone I know' Eddie looked at Rachel who poked her tongue out at him

'Come on the we better get going, Martha will be back by 7'

'Perfect have fun honey'

Martha quickly hugged Kimmy and then followed the two adults to the car

Martha's eyes widened 'wow, lush car!'

Rachel laughed 'yes it's my baby' she then realised what she said could be seen as sensitive

However Martha hadn't noticed and went on 'what's the horsepower on this thing?'

'Ahh that's Eddie's area of interest'

They all got in the car, and for a while Eddie and Martha spoke about cars

They drove for quite a long time 'Rachel, Eddie where are we going?'

'Royal Oak Stately Home - you sai your favourite subject was history, so I thought we could go take a look. I teach history so i thought it'll be fun'

'Sounds amazing - what history will I be doing next year?'

'Well I'm going to be teaching you and it's world war 2 - and there's lots of information on that so you'll have a head start next year'

Eddie did a fake snore impression, and Rachel slapped his arm playfully

'I'm not a massive fan of history Martha but I can take you to a Maths museum if you want?'

'Nooo I hate maths'

'See I'm not the only one' Rachel laughed

They arrived at the stately home, Rachel and Martha were having a wonderful time, whilst Eddie followed them trying to keep interest

'Imagine having this amount of books' Martha said whilst looking at the caged off library

'Well the mrs here, nearly has a library to math it at home'

Rachel laughed 'you'll have to come and have a look some time, and you can borrow some if you like'

'Yes please, I read most in the school library!'

Eddie couldn't stop smiling it was clear that Rachel was bonding wit her daughter it was also obvious how similar they were

By lunch time much to Eddie's dismay they had only covered half the house, so the adults decided to go into the grounds and have the picnic they had packed, Rachel had put in loads of different treats, strawberries, sausage rolls, even left over pizza

'All that walking around a dead person's house has certainly worked up an appetite'

Rachel chucked a plastic fork at him 'well we found it fun didn't we Martha'

'Yeah I liked the bedroom, I wish I could have a bed like that'

'Yeah but I bet the sheets haven't been changed since 1754' eddie argued

Martha grinned back 'nope 1972'

'How the hell do you know that?'

'It said it on the info point, eddie you just got owned'

'Teenage expressions are beyond me...' Eddie muttered

Rachel laughed at her husband and then turned to Martha 'how did you remember that though?'

'Photographic memory, comes in handy when my dyslexia kicks in'

'You're dyslexic?' Rachel queried

'Yeah is that gonna be a problem at Waterloo Road?' Martha replied shyly

'No not at all' rachel smiled trying to reassure the girl

The rest of the picnic went by smoothly

'Right shall we pack up and then we can go explore the rest of the house' Rachel said

'Nope I'm fine here' eddie lead down pretending to sleep

Rachel went over and kissed him 'none of that Mr Lawson'

'Ewwwww' martha laughed

They all went back inside, Eddie then disappeared, leaving the two girls

'Mu..Rachel thanks for bringing me today, it's been fun'

'No worries lovely girl - I'm glad you've enjoyed yourself, it's been great hasn't it'

'Yeah it has and I really like you and Eddie, I thought it was gonna be awkward but it hasn't been so thank you'

'In honesty, I thought it would be too and Martha, Eddie and I really like you too'

'Yay! I was scared I'd bore you' martha said whilst smiling 'I know you were sure on today and I know this couldn't have been easy but thank you soooo much'

Martha then hugged the woman, Rachel was surprised, a week ago she would have pushed her daughter away but today she put her arms around Martha and hugged her back

'You don't miss much do you eh? Martha look at me, you are right I was unsure but now I'm not, I'm certain i want to be in your life but remember I have no practice in being a mother so bare with me'

'Ok I will Rachel, it's easy just let me do whatever I like' Martha said with a cheeky grin

'Fat chance' rachel laughed 'and why don't you start calling me Mum, after all that Is what I am now'

Martha's face lit up 'really?'

'Of course I am, come here' this time Rachel pulled her daughter into a hug and kissed her head

Before they knew it Eddie was coming up the stairs, he smiled as he knew how many demons Rachel had overcome to hug her daughter

'What's going on here - did I miss much?'

Martha pulled away from her mother 'No Mum and I were just talking'

Rachel smiled, being called Mum was new to her, but the way Martha said it made her very happy

The rest of the day flew by, and the three were sat in the grounds sunbathing

'Martha put some sun cream on, I don't want to take you back to Kimmy looking like a lobster'

'Ok mum -can you help put it on my back?'

'Turn round then lovely'

Whilst her mum was doing her suncream, Martha turned to Eddie 'does this make you my step-dad then?'

'yes I guess it does'

'Can I call you dad then?'

Eddie looked at Rachel, she smiled and nodded

'Of course' eddie opened his arms and Martha went and hugged him

'It's weird, 15 years of no-one and in one day I have a Mum and Dad'

'Martha, you won't have no-one ever again ok? We will always be a phone call away - let me put my number in your phone'

Martha pulled away 'I don't have one - I've never needed one before' she said sadly

'We know, so we bought you this' rachel said as she got a present out of her bag

Martha's eyes danced with happiness as she saw the present. 'Wow' she muttered. Opening the box she saw a state of the art phone inside 'how do I use it?'

'Here ya go' eddie said whilst turning the phone on 'bloody hell I'm no longer the technophobe of the family'

'Thank you so much Mum, Dad, this means I can talk to everyone from Somerset too' Martha said without taking her eyes of her new phone

'Come on you can play on that on the way home'

Rachel decided she'd drive, her and Eddie were talking for a while and there was quiet from the back they guessed Martha was on her new phone

'Aww Rachel look' eddie had turned around and saw Martha had fallen asleep, she looked happy and peaceful

"NO WAIT Rachel stop the car'

Rachel stopped the car urgently, as Eddie had looked at the girl more closely

There was blood coming through Martha's tshirt from her stomach cast, her body limp and her face a deathly pale juxtaposed the evening darkness

Please review, will only update if I get a few... You can decide what happens next! :)


	6. Chapter 6

'Martha, Martha can you hear me?' Eddie basically shouted

Martha's eyes flickered open 'Eddie, oww Eddie it really hurts' she murmured

'Right Eddie you drive, I'll get in the back and stay with Martha' rachel said in her natural authoritative tone

Rachel sat by her daughter, one hand on her shoulder the other pulled Martha's head into her arms

'Mum it hurts'

'We're going to get you to the nearest hospital ok lovely girl, but I want you to stay talking to me at all times - now what was your favourite part of the house?'

'The nursery, I liked the rocking horse and the.. The...'

'Martha stay with me, Eddie hurry up please' Rachel begged her husband

It was 30 minutes before they got to the nearest hospital, there the couple got Martha into A&E, from there she was rushed to a ward, the doctor examined her over, and put her on a drip

Rachel and Eddie were nervously waiting for the doctor to talk to them 'oh Eddie what if I was too late, I deserve this, but she doesn't, not yet - she's too young' she cried into his shoulder

'Shhh... Martha will be ok, she's like her Mum, a fighter'

Just then a doctor came out 'Good Evening are you the guardian's of Martha Mason?'

Rachel went to shake his hand 'Hi yes, I'm her mother - please tell me she's going to be ok?'

'It's obvious Martha hasn't been resting since her operation, meaning the wounds haven't been able to heal properly, consequently one tonight opening, we're going to prep her for theatre now to stitch her stomach back up. Martha has lost a lot of blood, so we'll need to watch her through the night, the next 24 hours are crucial.'

Martha was then wheeled out of the ward, followed by some nurses, checking her files

Rachel had gone ghostly white and was shaking, despite Eddie holding her in his warm embrace

'Shit, we need to call Kimmy'

'Rach, I'll do it, calm down'

Eddie was five minutes on the phone, he had explained the situation, Kimmy was unable to get to the hospital that evening so would join them in the morning

An hour passed, although it felt longer for the couple, Rachel was visibly anxious, whilst Eddie was trying to put a brave face on, however, he was very worried as today he had gained a beautiful daughter, he could not lose her now

The doctor then came into the visitor's waiting room 'Martha's surgery was successful, she may be awake in an hours time. She'll be in a side room to avoid waking the other patients, you're welcome to sit with her till she wakes up'

They went into the room, and saw their daughter attached to so many machines, the only movement was the slight rising of her chest

Silent tears cascaded down Rachel's cheeks 'why, why her?'

'Rachel, she's ok'

Several hours later, Martha woke up, everything was white. Her body felt stiff, it took a while for her eyes to re-focus. She felt some pressure on her hand, Martha looked down and saw her mum had fallen asleep and had kept hold of her hand

'Mum... Mum..it hurts'

Rachel stirred and saw her daughter awake, although she was obviously in pain

'Oh Martha, you gave us a scare!'

'Sorry Mum' martha replied with a cheeky grin 'where's Dad?' He's gone home, to get some of our clothes, and he's got a meeting with Social services booked for tomorrow morning'

'Why?'

'We want you to live with us, somewhere we can keep an eye on you and where we can be a family, what do you say?'

'Oh Mum that's amazing!' Martha leant over to give her mother a hug

'Martha Mason, no erratic movements - we want you to heal' Rachel said a bit more sternly - but then went over to hug her daughter 'I'm not letting you go ever again'

Just to be clear she is called Martha in this fic NOT ALICIA, I just keep putting that by mistake. Please review :)


	7. Chapter 7

Martha had to spend the next two weeks in hospital, as the doctors wanted to be certain the wound would heal, in that time her mum and dad had sorted everything out with her foster parents.

Kimmy had come in and told Martha 'if you ever need us we're just a phone call away and you can always come and stay with us'

It felt weird for Martha, having spent all her life with no one, suddenly four people wanted to look after her

Finally the day she was going to be discharged arrived, Martha had packed three days before, she just couldn't wait to get out the children's ward and to go home with her Mum and Dad

Finally Eddie popped his head round the curtain

'Dad!' Martha shouted excitedly

She ran over to him and wrapped her arms round him 'where's mum?!' She added worried, that her Mum had had second thoughts

'Don't worry love, she's going through the discharge forms - I don't need to ask if you've packed' eddie looked at the small suitcase

Then Rachel arrived in the cubicle beaming 'hello lovely girl - are you all set?' Martha skipped over and gave her mother a hug

'Oi you, what did I say about erratic movements'

'Sorry mum'

With that Rachel pulled in her daughter tighter 'now come on, let's go home'

'Home - I like the sound of that'

They made there way out the door, but were stopped when a woman rushed over to them 'are you Martha Mason?'

'Uhh yes' Martha said with a nervous smile

'Here have this I'm Poppy Davie's mum, Poppy died last night and the hospital staff said you looked after her when I wasn't around so it's only right you have this'

The woman handed the girl a small silver bracelet

Tears formed in Martha's eyes 'I'm so sorry for your loss, but she would have wanted you to have it - you were her world Mrs Davies'

Then Martha closed the woman's open palm

around the bracelet and smiled, the woman was obviously very touched by Martha's gesture and swapped numbers with Rachel so Martha could go to the girl's funeral

Rachel then put her arm around Martha 'come on sweetheart, let's get you home'

They got to the car 'she was too young to die' martha said and then started crying

'I know lovely girl' rachel replied putting her arms round Martha, to comfort her

'Imagine if that was me, I would have never have known you, not really'

'I know, but thankfully it wasn't and our future starts today, I will be there every step of the way I promise, now Poppy wouldn't want you to cry would she? So smile and remember her the way you did before her mother spoke to you'

'Ok, love you mum'

'And we love you too' Eddie spoke reassuringly

Martha was quiet for the whole journey, a mixture of sadness due to her new friend dying and excitement to see her new house she would share with her parents

They finally arrived at the house 'oh my god it's huge'

Rachel beamed she did love her house '6 bedrooms - I think Phil has gone out but he's on the top floor, we put you in the bedroom next to us'

'Who's Phil?' Martha said surprised

'He's your cousin, he's been staying with us for a few years' rachel added guiltily

'Oh I can't wait to meet him!' Martha said, not understanding why her mother looked guilty

However Rachel felt like she needed to explain herself 'uh..you're auntie Mel did a runner and hasn't come back - so I had to take him in'

'Mum it's fine, like I said I don't blame you for what you did and I still can't believe I'm here so thank you'

Rachel kissed her daughter's head and then lead her to the house 'eddie can get your bags, come with me' she said with a grin

'Eh? - I'm not your skivvy' Eddie said jokingly

'Ok this is the lounge, this is the dining room and kitchen...' Rachel showed her daughter all round the house, and finally 'this is your rooms sweetheart'

'What all this for me?'

Martha walked into the large room, one wall had been painted bright pink, there was a large dressing table on one side, a giant wardrobe on the other and a double bed in the middle

'Do you like it lovely girl?'

'Mum it's amazing thank you'

'Go look on your bedside table honey'

Martha did as she was told and there stood a photoframe, and inside was a photo of her with her mum and dad outside the stately home, to anyone else it was a picture of a family, but to Martha it meant the world

**Sorry for the lack of updates I was going to write last night, but then I watch Forrest Gump and turned into an emotional wreck!**

**Please review they make my day!**


	8. Chapter 8

Martha's point of view

Mum had just left the room and told me to unpack and then go downstairs for lunch

I couldn't believe how big this room was, and all this just for me? I've never had anywhere that was mine before, and now I have a place to call home. In the past I just moved rooms.

I had the room at that guardian's house I grew up in before I went to boarding school. I didn't like it there, the man who looked after me touched me in places I knew it was wrong but I was only small - I was hardly one to stop him

Then when I was 8 I escaped his clutches and went to boarding school there I met my best friend Ellie, for the first few years we were in the same room together, but after that we were put in different rooms. One year was horrible I was put in a room with the class bully, my life was made hell, but Ellie and I remained friends - her family let me stay with them at Christmas and in the summer holidays. Her mum Jenny always treated me like one of her own but I still felt like I was a burden to them and it was clear to me I was getting in the way of their family, although they always denied it.

Then I moved to the senior school, unfortunately Ellie moved schools and although we're still friends, she's made new ones.

Again, every year I changed rooms, and nothing belonged to me. I started to resent the school because I had no freedom, I wasn't allowed out at weekends due to no one signing the consent forms as they couldn't contact mum. Therefore I was stuck in the same building for months at a time, day in, day out doing the same thing, stuck to the same routine.

In the holidays I no longer went to Ellie's house, I was stuck with more 'guardians' who only looked after me because they were being paid, but none of them were as bad as my first guardian, he still appears in my nightmares - I hope I don't have one here, I don't want to make my mum feel any worse

In the end I had enough, I knew my mother lived in Manchester or on the outskirts. So I ran away from school I knew I wouldn't be missed it would be more like a relief.

It was definitely a relief for me, I got to explore the realms outside the prison of a school, I mean I even used a train for the first time! I managed to pay for my fare with the money I had saved up from my christmas presents from Jenny - as I couldn't go shopping with it due to not being able to leave the school.

I slept rough a couple of nights, it worried me as If I did meet Rachel, I'd look like a tramp, but then I got knocked by the car and here I am. Being in that accident could be seen as the best thing that ever happened to me, as it lead me here with my mother

I'd always daydream about what she looked liked, and when she arrived she was perfect, it took all my strength not to breakdown with happiness. I thought she would send me back to the school but she kept coming back - I still have to pinch myself to remind me that I'm living in the same house as her!

When I was younger before bed, I would always say to the stars outside my window 'please bring mummy' - it never worked, but I never gave up hope

I can't blame her either can I? She was in a tough situation, and I know I was a constant reminder of the past she fought to forget, if I was in her place I wouldn't have kept the child, so like I said to her - I'm forever in her debt because she gave me this life.

But now she's coming round to the idea of having a daughter, I know she's not hundred percent ready, but she's trying. And too me that means everything. Also, because she's in my life I've now got a father too, Eddie, he's one of the funniest and kindest men I know and I feel like I finally belong somewhere, and I belong to someone - something I've never ever truly felt.

And I'm happy

**Please review**

**Thought I'd give an insight into Martha's life, in her own words**


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